A few more hours and we will be heading to Edmonton to catch the train eastward.
I am so grateful to Ma and Pa for the opportunity to go with them on this trip.
The emptiness that I feel having my children so far away is no less but I am grateful to have gotten to see everyone.
Mike and I were planning on building another cabin for us on our property. That has changed now. I would rather save the money to come and see my children and grandchildren every couple years.
That makes more sense for living on less and making due with what we have as well. The cabin that we live in was not built in the best location on the property but we will make due and get it all together with what we have.
My heart is heavy. Stifling a primal scream kind of heavy.
It never dawned on me years ago that I would not be able to be "hands on" with my grandchildren. And that rips my heart out.
The only things I have to give them are my time and my love of life and the natural world.
But we adapt(what choice is there) Hopefully Hayden remembers the flower garden that we planted. And remembers to keep it watered and to take a picture for me when the flowers bloom.(then I will mail her a little something to add to her garden)
I love you guys so much. I am proud beyond words. I wish you all the best and rainbows and happiness and the strength to get through the rough spots.
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